Stealing Stuff

This is a true story. The names of the innocent have NOT been changed.

I suppose I should backtrack in order to make this story sensible to anyone that knows me. Gary and I bought a lot on Lake Gaston. I will write a blog about that another time, but We are going to be broke, soon. So I am on a decorating from Yard Sales and Thrift Stores and Craig's List kick. 2 weeks ago I was in Virginia Beach working and I went around the corner to BK to get some lunch and there was the CHKD thrift store. Ahhhh So I pull in and begin to think about what I was looking for, so I wouldn't waist too much time. I have been SUPER stressed at work. And life in general, but that day in particular I was about to blow a gasket. I thought my eyes were going to bug out of my head. ( I have since learned that I have high blood pressure, probably from stress, but who knows) I am wandering around the thrift store and I find a pyrex 4 cup glass measuring cup and a lamp. I go to pay and I have to wait because somebody in front of me is buying a big screen TV and is going to have to come pick it up later. People are standing in line behind me. So it's my turn and my stuff comes to 7.31. Of course I have 7 dollars and no change and no more dollars, because my purse is in the car and I have my wallet in my hand. So I have to search out my hidden 50 bill stash that is folded into a tight little square, so I will forget its there and not spend it unless its an emergency. I have to break my 50 for 31 cents. great. I tell the clerk You are going to hate me, but this is all I have. She said no problem I have plenty of change. So she puts my lamp in a brown grocery bag and then takes my money and I am still fiddling around with my money. She gives me back all this change and then brings a bucket out from behind the counter that is for donations. She says would you like to give to the CHKD. I am thinking. Didn't I just give to CHKD by buying this stuff that you got free? But nice person that I am say SURE and I dump all the coins I had in my hand into the bucket got my money in my wallet and grab my bag. And then the bad thing happens..... My other arm, which was apparently not attached to my body but had a mind of its own, GRABBED THE MONEY BUCKET. I yanked it and it didnt come because it was chained to the counter! Money jangling around in there. I turned around still confused and the clerk said, You must be out of your mind today and laughed. I said, I think your right. I have no idea what I was thinking. She said probably that it was your pyrex glass. I said, yeah thats exactly what I was thinking, while thinking to myself OMG I have no idea what just happened. OMG GET OUT NOW. I was completely humiliated. Couldn't get out the door. Got in my car still thinking. What the hell just happened? I pull out of the parking lot in front of somebody who had to slam on breaks. All I can think is. I just tried to steal the money bucket that CHDK thrift store! How embarrasing and insane is that. Well I laughed and laughed and laughed at my own craziness, so I at least had some comic relief from it. Thank God some security guard didn't slam me on the ground or something. The clerk was really nice, She knew I wasn't really trying to steal the bucket but still. My life ROCKS doens't it.

And didn't Suan and I go to Wal Mart Saturday and I was apparently Shopping in some one elses CART on the sale aisle. I just can't be let out of the house anymore. No telling what will happen.